People really misuse the word salad. Fruit salad, tuna salad, bean salad, potato salad. You got a plate filled with 800 calories of mayonnaise–and you think that qualifies as a salad?! Apparently, anything can be a salad, as long as someone eats it with a fork or a spoon. “Waiter. Let me get a glazed donut salad. Just cut up some donuts, and cover the donuts in syrup. I gotta get my four daily servings of salad, so my body can be very nutritious and whatever.”
Um. Let me tell you something about salad, ladies and gentlemen. Salad is supposed to contain lettuce, tomatoes, and cucumbers–and if you want to get a little crazy, you can put a few croutons on top. That’s a legitimate salad. All other salads are salads the way Colonel Sanders was a Colonel. He wasn’t a military Colonel. He was a guy who wore a white suit and sold buckets of fried chicken.